On Monday, I dropped Claire off at preschool for the first time in over a week after our vacation (more about that later). As I carried her in, she smiled at her teachers, saw that breakfast was being served, and rubbed her chest. “Please? You want some breakfast, huh Claire?” her teacher said. And that’s when it hit me…
It only took us three months, but we finally figured out that they’ve been teaching her baby sign language at preschool. And suddenly, what I thought were just funny things she likes to do with her hands, maybe pieces of songs from circle time (she loves the motions to Happy And You Know It and Itsy Bitsy Spider), became words with meaning– meaning we’ve been missing all this time.
Meanwhile, my mind flashed to what the last few months must have been like for Claire: More, please. Eat, please. Up? What is wrong with my parents? Do I live with idiots? My teachers understand me just fine! How many times do I have to say “more” to these morons before they refill my milk? She must have thought we were incredibly dense.
Now, though, it’s like a whole new world has opened up. This morning she pointed to a book and signed “please.” So I read it to her. Crazy!
Now I’ve got some catching up to do in the baby sign language department, because Claire is way ahead of me.
I must say, I’m super impressed with her preschool teachers– it absolutely makes sense to teach baby sign language at a special needs preschool where a lot of the kids are either nonverbal or speech-delayed. This puts all the kids on a level playing field for at least the bare minimum of communication.
Meanwhile, there’s at least one other area where I have to catch up with preschool: somehow, after a year of struggle, her teachers and her feeding therapist have gotten her off of bottles, the bottles she has preferred exclusively over any other type of bottle or cup since the NICU, and she now drinks from a sippy cup for them. Well, the jig is up now, Claire, and you’re about to switch to sippies at home, too. No more washing and reusing the same 12 disposable nipples that we nabbed from the NICU and have been reusing all this time, over 18 months now. How do I sign “sippy time”?
October is Spina Bifida Awareness Month, not that you’d know it, as apparently October is the most crowded of all awareness months, most famously shared with Breast Cancer Awareness, but also Down Syndrome, Autism, Domestic Violence, and Bullying Prevention. To make matters worse, the Spina Bifida Awareness symbol is apparently a yellow ribbon, which everyone else knows is the symbol for supporting the troops, spotted on many a bumper sticker. Basically, I think we need a new month and a new symbol, but they didn’t ask me.
Though “they didn’t ask me” could be the whole theme of my all-too-keen awareness of Spina Bifida in general. They didn’t ask me, and they didn’t ask Claire, if we wanted SB in our lives. They didn’t ask the other 1 in 800 babies born with myelomeningocele SB (the most severe form, what Claire has) either.
I feel like this week has been an effort on our doctors’ part to make sure we’re REALLY REALLY AWARE of this whole spina bifida thing. Last week we made 3 separate trips to the children’s hospital for various tests, and this week we made two trips to talk to the doctors about the results of those tests. And the news, while not surprising, is bumming me out a little bit. In addition to mobility limitations, bladder and bowel issues are very common for people with SB, and though we had been hoping to continue avoiding it, in order to prevent recurrent UTIs and prevent damage to Claire’s kidneys, our urologist says it’s time to start catheterizing to get her bladder fully emptied. This means cathing her every 4 hours. She’ll also now have to take a daily medicine to prevent bladder contractions. A side effect of this medicine will likely be constipation. I know (really, I do) that ultimately this is the best course of action and is what will help her maintain continence as she grows, but for some reason in my head, having to take this step, having to cath, seems like it makes her more disabled, more different, and I just don’t like it.
WHAT? You’re gonna make me go to the doctor 5 times within 7 days?!
We also got x-rays and saw the orthopedist, and it looks like at some point, Claire is going to need a surgery on her left leg to fix the way her foot turns severely inward. For the short term, she’s getting a special brace to wear at night, but in 6 months to a year, we’re looking at another surgery. Again, I’m all for whatever we need to do to give her the most mobility and independence, but hearing that my baby needs another surgery is hard.
And yet, we have so much good news too. She got an MRI, and we saw our neurosurgeon, and her shunt is working beautifully. I really credit it with the way her mobility is exploding, and our surgeon agrees. We’ve officially been cleared by neurosurgery, and, barring any shunt malfunction or infection, won’t be seeing her for a YEAR! We’re definitely celebrating that milestone.
So, what would I like you to be aware of this month for Spina Bifida Awareness Month? Yes, I want you to know that sometimes it’s hard. Sometimes there’s more surgery and more hassle and more hard work than we’d like. Sometimes I get angry or sad. But mostly I don’t. Mostly, I focus on the fact that both of our girls are beautiful, funny, joyful, smart, silly, typical toddlers. Mostly, I think that’s what I want you to be aware of– Spina Bifida has challenges, but it’s just another way of being a human in the world.
I’ve written about cloth diapering newborns and infants, but I figured now that the girls are 17 months, it’s time for an update on the toddler phase of this operation.
I still LOVE LOVE LOVE my cloth diapers. I still think they’re no grosser or more difficult than disposables. I still think they’re 10 times cuter ;)
One new development: a diaper sprayer is a must in the toddler years. (I’m about to talk about poop. There’s no way around it. You’ve been warned.) While newborn and infant poop is water soluble, once baby is really eating solids, you’re gonna need to get most of that off the diaper before you wash it. For us, this was around 13 months. Of course, you could be lucky and just have a kid like one of ours (not naming names because they’ll be Google-able someday), whose poops are just little turds that easily roll off the diaper into the toilet. No sprayer necessary, pretty much ever, if that’s the case. But for our other kid, her poops are just a sticky mess and must be sprayed off. We have a sprayer from BumGenius, and my husband easily and quickly installed it on the toilet in the girls’ bathroom. It works great, just like the sink sprayer you probably have in the kitchen.
Also, toddlers pee more. Their bladders hold more, so you may find yourself needing to up the absorbency in your diapers. This is one reason why pocket style diapers are my favorite. It’s super easy to add an extra insert, preferably in a natural fiber like cotton, bamboo, or hemp, when you need to add absorbency, like nap time, or when you’ll be out and about. I like bamboo inserts from Alva Baby and hemp from Thirsties.
This also means you might have to find a new system for overnights to keep baby from waking up soaked. Our girls are such heavy wetters that I have yet to find a disposable diaper that doesn’t leak overnight, so even if we’re traveling and using disposable diapers, I put a cloth cover over the disposable to prevent leaks. Meanwhile, through trial and error, I’ve found cloth diaper systems that help them go more than 12 hours leak-free. For our heavier wetter, we use a Flip cover stuffed with one Flip organic overnight insert with a Flip stay dry insert over that. For the other girl, we use either a Thirsties Fab Fitted stuffed with a small Thirsties hemp insert inside a Flip cover or a Green Mountain workhorse fitted with a small Thirsties hemp insert and a fleece liner to keep her feeling dry (I cut up an old sweatshirt) inside a Flip cover.
Another new toddler cloth-diapering development is that Claire goes to pre-school:
Cloth Diapering and Daycare or Pre-School
When considering cloth diapers and daycare/pre-school, remember: it never hurts to ask, and the ask is easier if you Show And Tell. I asked if our pre-school would consider cloth diapering, and they said they were open to the idea. So I took in a few of our pocket diapers for them to check out. Once they saw they were all one piece, just like a disposable diaper, they said they’d give it a shot. And it’s worked out great! Some other things to keep in mind:
Make it as easy on the caregivers as possible. For us, this means I take pre-stuffed pocket diapers all ready to go. I also don’t require them to spray poops or unstuff the diapers. Since their changing table is right next to a toilet, they dump the ploppable poops in the trash, then fold up the diapers and stuff them in a wetbag. I unstuff them when I get them home and throw them in the wash. I also didn’t try to rock the boat with cloth wipes. Just getting them to cloth diaper is enough for me! I also made sure the only diaper cream we provide is CD safe, which isn’t a problem because each kid supplies his own cream.
Ask how many times a day they change kids, and send enough changes plus a couple extras. Our center changes kids every 2 hours, and she’s there from 8:30-3:30. I make sure they have 6 cloth diapers in Claire’s cubby at all times, along with a medium wetbag (we have 2 medium wetbags that get rotated according to which is in the wash).
Make sure you tell them: “Put it on tighter than you think it needs to be.” I have found that putting on diapers too loose is the number one reason non-CDers have leaks when they try cloth diapers. I explained that the key to keeping wetness in was a tight seal around the waist and legs, and while they had a couple of leaks at first, our teachers eventually got it down. I also reassured them that a little redness from the elastic is normal, but we don’t want deep red marks.
Do you cloth diaper a toddler? Have any tips to share? Any questions?
Today, I’m sharing some reviews of brands/styles we’ve tried since I last wrote about our cloth diapering methods. Tomorrow, check back for a post with tips about cloth diapering toddlers and cloth diapering at preschool or daycare.
Charlie Bananas OS pocket cloth diaper review:
I picked up two Charlie Bananas OS cloth diapers at Target during a clearance sale, for $5 each. Regular price is around $20 per diaper. I’m definitely glad I picked these up. Structurally, they’re like a hybrid between my Alva Baby diapers and my BumGenius 4.0 snaps. They have snaps more similar to the Alva, with double snaps on the tabs and hip snaps to prevent wing sagging, but there’s a flap over the pocket like the 4.0s. They also stuff from the front rather than the back, which is different from most diapers, but doesn’t seem to affect the operation much. I will say, the inners are fleece where the 4.0s are suedecloth, and the fleece is much softer to the touch. Since some babies have sensitivities to suedecloth, these might be a better alternative for folks with that issue. They came with two microfiber inserts, one small and one large, and recommend using both for babies of 4 months or older. Since I usually just use one MF insert in my pockets during the daytime, I have only been using the large insert, and it’s been just as absorbent as my other MF inserts that I use on their own. I see no reason to use both unless you have a heavy wetter, or for overnights or naps.
One thing that isn’t really an issue for me, but might be for some people is that instead of snapping to adjust the rise, the elastic is accessed on the inside and can be taken in or let out using a sliding buckle similar to a bra strap. I hated (HATED) the elastic adjustment on FuzziBunz (which, I hate FuzziBunz diapers in general), largely because the buttons are exposed and dig into my babies’ skin, and would probably not enjoy trying to adjust Charlie Bananas up and down either, but since we’ve got the rise completely let out on all our OS diapers these days, I don’t have to deal with it at all. Overall, these are a nice pocket, just as absorbent as any others I’ve tried, and the fleece inside is nice and soft. I definitely recommend them.
Here’s some photos comparing the Charlie Banana Pocket to some 2011 FuzziBunz One Size diapers.
Alva Baby diapers vs. BumGenius, FuzziBunz, and Charlie Banana
Another thing I’ve wanted to post about is how “Cheapy China” diapers from Alva Baby stack up to the more popular brands.
At less than $5 per diaper, Alvas are absolutely a great way to get a stash of pockets for very little investment. Sure, the website looks like it came straight from 1998, and free shipping from China seems sketchy, but they take PayPal, the shipping is slow but truly free, and they’re worth a try, whether you’re just filling out a stash, looking for a diaper to send to daycare, or buying all of your diapers.
I will say, they seem lower-quality than BumGenius or Charlie Banana, with flimsier fabrics, snaps that don’t match the fabric, and no flap over the pocket, but they’re perfectly serviceable, and none of those features are dealbreakers when you’re talking 1/5-1/4 the price of the “name brand” diapers. They only come with one insert, but they’re not leakier than others, and I recommend buying a few of their bamboo inserts, because those are super absorbent. Another thing: they seem to run a little bigger, particularly in the legs, than the others. This is great news for Claire and her luscious thighs, but this might be a problem on a skinny baby (though Etta is in the 5th percentile, and they work fine for her). And despite the flimsier feel of the material, these have held up just fine for us, unlike my Fuzzibunz, two of which have lost snaps.
Bottom line: Alvas are a great, cheap diaper and a great way to get the ease of pocket diapers on a budget.
BumGenius Freetime AIO OS diaper review:
Recently, BumGenius introduced the Freetime, an all-in-one diaper that essentially marries their suedecloth-topped stay-dry Flip inserts with their 4.0s to create a stay-dry microfiber diaper with sewn in flaps that eliminate the need for stuffing. I bought two on sale, and I like them just fine.
Pros: they’re a little trimmer than the pockets, and they’re a little more absorbent. You don’t have to stuff them, so they’re always ready to go.
Cons: again, this is less of an issue for us because we just use the diaper as-is without having to size down in the rise, but having to fold the flaps over could be annoying. They’re also harder to get on right, because the two overlapping flaps try to slide out the sides, and because if you don’t get the flaps laid down right, baby can be lying on the flap, preventing you from pulling the front up all the way– so they’re just tricky. My husband expressly avoids using them, because he doesn’t want to fiddle with making sure the flaps aren’t peeking out the leg holes. Also, if kiddo poops in the diaper and you’re trying to spray it out into the toilet, the flaps flop around and have been known to make the process difficult.
Overall: I like these diapers fine, and not stuffing is nice, but I still prefer the pocket style of the 4.0 because there are no flaps to fuss with, and because it’s easy to customize the absorbency with added inserts.
Cloth Swim Diapers:
First of all, if you have toddlers in warm weather, you MUST have a kiddie pool. Mine were a little young/unsteady as walkers to enjoy splash parks this summer, and we don’t have consistent access to a real pool, but the girls have LOVED their kiddie pool. Not sure why it took me so long to get one.
Now, you can use an unstuffed pocket or just a diaper cover as a swim diaper, because all a swim diaper does is contain poop. Yep, even your disposable swim diapers which immediately become waterlogged when you get in the pool aren’t absorbing any pee. At first I was just using Flip covers, but those are kind of clingy, and I don’t think wet PUL clinging to my skin would be very comfy. Then, at the same Target clearance sale I mentioned above, I found Charlie Banana swim diaper/training pants on sale for $3.50. So nice. They look more like little swim bottoms, and have a cotton liner and a drawstring at the waist. Also, they pull double duty as waterproof training pants when potty training time arrives. I highly recommend them. I’m even thinking about starting to stock up on them to use as training pants when the time comes, because I like them better than any other trainers I’ve seen.
The pink diapers on the right are the swim/trainers.
Before I had kids, I admit I didn’t know much about toddlers. I’d heard a lot about the terrible twos and threes (and debate about exactly which is more terrible), but I hadn’t spent a lot of time around toddlers.
Can I just say that so far, I greatly prefer toddlers to infants? I know we’re only like 6 months into this toddler thing, and that my kids were a little late on the actual toddling, but this seems to be a really cool phase. They’re learning and growing and just exploding with personality. They’re curious and funny and yes, opinionated, quick to flop on the floor and wail, but also quick to giggle and squeal with delight.
Claire has really started walking. She uses a little push wagon as a walker, but when she’s all strapped into her braces, shoes, and de-rotation straps, she can book it. And she’s SO PROUD. She knows she has worked very hard in therapy to get to this point, and she is thrilled that she can finally do it. Watching her go just fills me with joy. When she was born with a more severe spinal defect than we had hoped, a myelomeningocele from L2 or 3 down into her sacrum, we were worried about what her mobility would be like. And here she goes, chugging away, totally besting our expectations. Now she’s decided she can do whatever her sister can do, and has taken to trying to climb the furniture. I’ve had to let her take a couple tumbles, because she refuses to believe me that gravity exists, and will literally take my hands off her body if I try to guide her. I guess gravity itself will be the best teacher when it comes to crawling off the edge of the couch.
This morning, we walked into the girls’ room to get them up, and they were BOTH standing up, holding onto the crib rails. The first time Claire has done that, and she wasn’t even wearing her braces. She was just grinning. Love that girl.
Etta’s bursting with new skills and interests too. The one that does my English major heart the proudest is her discovery of books. Everyone says to read to your babies, and we have, but up until recently, they haven’t seemed to really enjoy it or be interested in it. Not so now. Etta will go to the shelf, pick out a book (her current faves are “How to be a Grouch by Oscar the Grouch,” an Ikea book called “Heroes of the Vegetable Patch,” and “Brown Bear, Brown Bear”), bring it over to wherever I am, hand it to me, crawl into my lap, and wait for me to start reading. She turns the pages most of the time, too. I read those three books hundreds of times a day, it feels like, but I don’t mind a bit.
Another fun Etta trait is asking “What’s dat?” and pointing her little finger. She’s interested in everything, and wants to know what words they’re called. It’s become a bit of a game we play in their room, which has lots of animal pictures on the wall, and she points to different ones almost like she’s giving me a pop quiz. She really enjoys hearing me say the word “jellyfish.” She loves to whisper the word “shoes,” and both girls are obsessed with the word “cat,” or, as Etta says it, “TAT!”
Etta “fishing” on a recent outing to the Wonder Place.
Mealtime is also fun because they’ve started to figure out how to use a fork and spoon. They often eat what we eat, and I really enjoy all of us sitting down to dinner together. Claire has worked very hard in feeding therapy and is able to eat more and more foods and even occasionally drink from a sippy cup.
Overall, while there have certainly been some terrible toddler moments, I’m really soaking up the awesome ones.
“Just ask Cinderella; the right pair of shoes can change your life!”
I once gave my fashionista sister a card that said that, but I think my Etta baby would agree. Girl is shoe OBSESSED.
While many parents battle toddlers to get shoes on and kept on, mine is constantly bringing me shoes, holding up her tiny foot, and demanding I put it on. Sometimes her shoes, sometimes mine. Today, she took the silver patent leather Birkenstocks right off my feet. And she’s not too concerned with matching shoes, either– one shoe, two different shoes, these are valid options.
I’m not kidding about the tiny feet, either. She’s 17 months old, and she wears size 2 shoes, or a 6-12 month size. We’ve hung out with other kids her age, and their feet are no joke, twice the size of hers. This means occasionally, shoes fall right off her feet. Just the other day, I had to go back out to some steps, where little Cinderetta had lost a silver slipper.
Wearing one red sparkle shoe, wielding a toothbrush, fleeing a very giggly speed-crawling Claire. Just a typical afternoon in the Bufflo home.
The title of this post is something I’ve been asked by twin parents a little behind us in the journey. It’s something I asked other twin moms when I was lost in the sleepless fog of new twin babyville.
And oh how I want to hug all new parents, but especially twin parents, and just say, yes, it gets easier. Because sometimes you just desperately need to believe it will.
But really, the thing I keep thinking, about life, about parenthood, is not that it gets easier, but that it gets different. And each time it gets different, you get different too: you learn, and adapt, and find strategies, and just as you master whatever it is, it gets different again. But the thing is, through all the changes, you get stronger, tougher, better, and you’re able to more confidently deal with all the change.
A friend reminded me on Facebook recently of a phase I did not love. It’s that point where your baby figures out how to pull up to stand, but still can’t get down. And baby is SO EXCITED about this new standing skill that she wakes up in the middle of the night just thinking about standing. So she stands in her crib. And then she realizes she is stuck and freaks the freak out. Which means lots of midnight wakeups for dear old mom and dad. And so, for a few weeks, we had to keep lying her back down, patting her back, singing her songs, while she struggled to get up and stand again, over and over, until she finally crashed. It was really frustrating.
But here’s the thing: that never happens anymore. Now we’re just getting middle of the night wakeups because Etta’s too busy cutting teeth and thinking about walking to sleep, and Claire’s been sick, and, well, see what I mean? It got different. It’s still hard.
I think the key, the thing that I can tell new parents, singleton and multiples, though, is that the rewards get greater through all the change and all the hard. In the very beginning, you’re just living for the point when they finally finally just smile at you. And that smile is amazing. It’s like the payout for 2 months of sleeplessness and spit up and practicing all those 5 S’s.
And it only gets more rewarding from there. They, your favorite little humans, just keep becoming more fascinating, more capable, and more interesting, more like actual people. The biggest thing for me as a twin mom is, my kids are becoming actual siblings who talk to each other and play together, and that bond forming is just a joy to behold. Sure, there’s lots of hair pulling and fighting over toys, but that stuff is far outweighed by the heart-melting awesome that is watching my two kids pass food back and forth in their high chairs, babbling to each other. Or when Claire actually asks for Etta by name, and Etta turns to her, and they laugh and laugh.
So maybe it does get better. Still not sold on the easier, though ;)
Teamwork: working together to open the drawer and remove all the diapers inside. Sibling love!
A friend asked on Instagram if I’d consider doing a post about the bufflogals’ toys, and her wish is my command.
She noticed that the gals’ toys are generally wooden and rather atypical from what is generally on the market for babies and toddlers. This is by design. I want our home to be peaceful and happy, stimulating but not overstimulating, full but not cluttered. And if it’s not too much to ask, I want the stuff we bring into it to look good! This extends to the choices we make for our girls’ toys. While I have only begun to educate myself on things like Montessori and Waldorf, my general inclination and instinct is that their toys should be about them using objects to educate and enjoy themselves, not just being entertained by lights and music and bells and whistles. For us, this means nothing that lights up or makes sounds, pretty much nothing battery operated, and very little plastic. Again, this isn’t because of any particular ideology, but just the result of me following what feels right for me and my kids. I’m not in any way saying other sorts of toys are bad, but this is just where we’re at and what we want for our home.
Etta and Claire have two main play spaces, their room and our den. In each space, it was important to me that the toys be arranged where they could get them out themselves (and eventually, put them up themselves), and to have things displayed and accessible rather than buried in a bin under a million other things. Things they can see actually get used, whereas things in a giant pile get forgotten.
Here you see the girls’ play space in our den. The shelf and tent are both from Ikea, and my mom found the chairs at a flea market. They have a little white table that goes with them, but it’s being used as a side table until we find an actual side table to go next to the couch. Also pictured is the Little Wheely Bug, which I found for a steal at a local consignment sale. Etta’s just now able to really start to use it at 15 months, and it’s the smaller size. The green-sided walker was a Christmas gift, but I have to say, I’m not as crazy about it as I thought I’d be, as it seems more prone to tipping, though they still sit in front of it and play with it. I REALLY love the walker wagon Claire’s kneeling with, which is a brand called Janod from Oompa.com, which along with Amazon is one of our main toy sources.
This is the contents of the musical instrument box. Most are Hape, purchased via Amazon. The shaker eggs aren’t actually toys but legit musical instruments, but the girls love them.
I really love these alphabet blocks from Janod.The Janod walker wagon in action. As you can see, it can support Claire’s weight, and even without anything in it, is super stable for kids just starting to walk, not prone to tipping.We’re big fans of this collapsible tunnel, a gift, which folds nicely when we’re not playing with it.Here the girls are playing with our one and only noisy toy, the flowers, which are Lamaze brand. You can see the Hape shape sorter and some Melissa and Doug food. Our Ikea baby gym, now useful as an object to pull up on, is in the background.Little Wheely Bug in action, with a push from sister.A rare exception to my no-plastic rule: this Little Tykes rocking horse. It’s perfect for little toddlers because it’s low enough that they can get on and off themselves, and the seat has a back, which keeps them on it. And I think it’s not bad looking.
Here you can see the girls’ very messy room, and the toy shelf their daddy built for them. In the bin on the bottom left are wooden blocks that belonged to me as a child, and in the bottom right are little things we’ve collected along the way, like Ikea stacking cups, a Melissa and Doug pull toy, their Kathe Kruse dolls, and their Taggies toys. You can also see some soft books, a Melissa and Doug bead maze, a Skip Hop stacker pull toy, and an Ikea stacker toy. (Also, please note that Claire has pulled herself into a kneel, a big deal, which is why this picture was snapped in the first place.)
Basically, what I look for in a toy is this:
Is it kid powered? If it requires batteries, I don’t want it. (I took the batteries out of these toy keys before I ever gave them to the girls. They still love them.)
Is it used BY the kid, or does the kid just watch it go?
Does it help hone skills or encourage creativity or imaginative play?
Does it make noise? I’m fine with instruments the girls use to generate noise, but I don’t want to hear bad midi files of classical music. I’d rather put on my old iPod, which I’ve loaded up with tunes for the kiddos.
Is it possible to find this made of wood or other natural materials?
And, generally, is it fairly gender neutral? I’m fine with the girls playing with dolls, etc, as they get older and ask for such things, but in the meantime, I see no reason to push them toward gendered objects.
A few people who have visited our house have asked how we got all the grandparents and other relatives on board with this plan. The truth is, I grew up with these sorts of toys, so my parents were all about it from the start, and everyone else has been pretty happy to shop from the Amazon wish list I keep constantly updated for Christmas and their first birthday.
You know, Etta’s never had an update of her own, though Claire’s had many. So here’s the scoop on our littlest lady.
She’s the littlest big kid I’ve ever seen.
She’s like one of those super concentrated detergent packages, a big punch of personality in a tiny body. She’s in the 10th percentile for both height and weight, and I often find myself calling her things like “Peanut,” “Little Britches,” “Itty Bitty Etta Baby,” and “the Tiny One.” And yet, despite her small stature, there’s no denying that there’s very little “baby” left in this toddler. She’s on the go go go, climbing furniture yet lacking the confidence to let go and walk without holding onto something. In fact, this is a pattern with her, fierce independence paired with strong attachment, which is really how attachment is supposed to work, as I understand it, with a strong attachment giving her the trust to strike out on her own. She likes to play near but not with us, but returns frequently for a hug or to lay her head down on me and have me stroke her hair. She loves trying new things as long as we’re nearby, and she loved a recent trip to the splash park, laughing with almost maniacal glee as her daddy walked with her through sprays of water that kind of freaked her sister out.
Splashing happily at the splash pad.I left the room for a split second and she ended up here.
She’s also a total ham. She’s mastered the wave and the blown kiss, and she pairs both with an adorably squeaked “heyyyyyy” or “haiiiiiii” or “byyyyyye,” for maximum effect. Recently we were at a party standing with a group of people. I asked Etta if she wanted to go outside, and she waved to the group and said “byyyyyye!” They all “awwwwed.”
This big personality means very big feelings too. When she is happy, she is very very happy, and when she is sad, she is very very sad. Often, her sadness is related to my thwarting of her plans for mischief and mayhem: why won’t I let her sit on the end tables? Why won’t I let her fling herself off the couch? Why won’t I let her chew on iPhones and remotes? Why won’t I let her turn the Xbox on and of and on and off and on and off? Because I’m the worst.
My tiny tot often has disheveled hair, dirty knees, grubby hands, and a mischievous gleam in her eye. I’m so glad she’s mine.
Coming back for snuggles, with a bottle stolen from sister.
I’ve posted a little bit about feeding my girls, but after a few comments on Twitter and Instagram about Miss Etta’s eating habits, I thought it might be helpful to go ahead and write a more detailed post about my semi-Baby Led Weaning table-food-eating one year old.
We started introducing solids in the form of purees around 6 months, but from the start, Etta wanted little to do with being spoon fed. She likes to do things by and for herself, and the whole thing was largely a very messy battle with her wanting to control the spoon, and very little food winding up in her mouth. By about 9 months, she was still mostly not eating food, so we decided to try “Baby Led Weaning,” which I had mostly heard of on mama message boards. Basically, Baby Led Weaning is giving kids pieces of food that they can feed themselves. I never read the books on the subject, but there are many, as well as websites, so feel free to seek that stuff out. We just started giving her steamed hunks of sweet potato and carrot, about adult finger sized, and from there eventually wound up graduating to just feeding her foods.
These days, my entire fridge is full of little tupperwares of Etta meal components. Then her meals are basically just multiple choice problems. Breakfast is usually fruit+grain+dairy, and lunch and dinner are protein+veggies+grain, with an occasional dairy item thrown in.
Fruits:
No sugar added applesauce (the only ingredients are apples and apple juice, but I may start adding cinnamon to give her some flavor), served in a Yummi Pouch.
I buy canned/jarred fruit a lot, and either give it to her to feed herself in chunks, or puree it in my Ninja Blender and serve it to her in a Yummi Pouch, often adding oatmeal baby cereal to it. We like peaches, pears, pineapple, and mixed tropical fruit in juice (not syrup).
Fresh fruits like pears, sliced into wedges she can hold and gnaw on. Hunks of banana or mango, sliced berries, and clementine segments have also gone over well. I’ve even bought frozen berries, thawed, and served them to her, though they were a huge mess. In the future, I may restrict berries to purees in the Yummi Pouch so she looks less like an extra from a zombie flick.
Grains/starches:
We are big fans of toast+spreads, both for breakfast and dinner. Toast is usually a halved multigrain English muffin or multigrain bread. Spreads include guacamole, butter, hummus, jam, pumpkin butter, tahini, almond, and peanut butter. I cut the toast into strips of about adult finger size, and she goes to town.
Tortillas, spread with any of the above spreads, or as a cheese quesadilla.
Earth’s Best baby crackers or graham crackers
Veggie pastas, like the kind with spinach and tomato in it, either plain or tossed in some simple tomato sauce (this is messy). Bowties and Penne seem easy to hold.
Spinach and cheese raviolis, cooked and cut into quarters.
Rice
Mashed potatoes, though this is a messy proposition and usually necessitates a bath as she smears it in her hair.
Roasted potatoes.
The occasional French fry.
Proteins:
BEANS! Etta loves beans. I buy organic canned beans (I admit, I’m not stressing about BPA in canned foods at this point, though I buy BPA free items whenever possible), and she likes kidney, pinto, black, and garbanzo beans. I just rinse them and keep them in a container in the fridge. She gets a handful at a time. Hummus on toast, as mentioned above, also counts as a serving of beans. Warning: you will see the bean peels when you change a poopy diaper. Do not be alarmed!
Cooked chicken, shredded or cubed. She usually only gets this if we’re having chicken for dinner.
Fish. So far she’s just had salmon when we were having it for dinner, but she was a fan. She loves flavorful stuff.
Scrambled tofu. She loved scrambled eggs until we had a pretty strong allergic reaction, and she likes scrambled tofu almost as much, particularly flavored up with chili powder and cheese.
Veggies:
Frozen mixed veggies have been a staple. They’re easy to steam in the microwave and store in a tupperware, and she gets to try a large variety. I often add butter or olive oil and some sort of spices or herbs, because I’ve discovered through serving her bits of our meals that she really loves flavor. Peas, carrots, broccoli, cauliflower, green beans, zucchini, squash, butternut squash, edamame, and lima beans are all easy to get in the freezer section.
Sauteed, steamed, ora roasted fresh veggies are great too– whatever we’re having for dinner, she often gets some. Zucchini seems to be a fave.
Halved cherry tomatoes. She loves these. The acidity often irritates the skin on her face and hands though, so I can’t give them to her as often as she’d like. She noms all the goodness out and spits out the peels.
Weird stuff, like hearts of palm from a salad we had, are always fun for her to try, and she often ends up loving them.
Cheese. Cubed cheddar, jack, or mozzarella are easy, as is pre-crumbled goat cheese and feta. She loves them all.
When I have several of the above components, meals just become a simple matter of pulling out the containers and giving her a little of each category. Any time I don’t think she’s eaten a lot of the food, I give her a pouch of yogurt or apple sauce to round out the meal and fill her up. So far, she’s pretty willing to try just about anything, and she’s not very picky. I will be sure to update with a new post once we’re further into toddlerhood!
On Monday, I dropped Claire off at preschool for the first time in over a week after our vacation (more about that later). As I carried her in, she smiled at her teachers, saw that breakfast was being served, and rubbed her chest. “Please? You want some breakfast, huh Claire?” her teacher said. And that’s when it hit me…
erniebufflo's south & west kitchen 