THESE are spirit fingers

Here’s some Friday fun for everyone.  I found this hilarious video via my friend, Political Party Girl:

The instructor has clearly been borrowing Jessie Spano’s uppers.

True story, though, y’all.  In college, where I was required to take one P.E. class per year, I took “Aerobic Dance,” because I heard it was hilarious. And oh my sweet spandex, it was. We didn’t really have an instructor so much as a lady who worked a VCR, and we’d basically sweat it to the oldies on the stage of the auditorium while she sat in the audience and watched us. Most of the videos we did were from the same era as this video. My favorite featured an instructor who seemed like one of Jem’s lost Holograms, and wore ridiculous thong leotards covered in stars over neon tights.  If I had college to do over again, I’d make my friends buy crazy spandex outfits with me to wear to Aerobic Dance class.  I’m sure American Apparel woulda done us up right.

Some day you should ask me to see some of the moves I learned. My friends in the class and I used bust out some of the moves at parties after a few drinks.

flashback/flashdance what a feelin’

Ok, you guys, I had to share this.  I walk past that mecca of hipster fashion, American Apparel, on my way to my office every morning.  And what I saw took me back to 1992.  I swear I had this dress, and wore it with leggings and a side ponytail and a hairbow made of neon shoelaces.  If you’re a girl, born in the 80s, I bet you had something similar.  My question is, why do hipsters want to look like me, circa second grade?

Perhaps there’s no use questioning it, though.  Afterall, this is the same company that also makes see-thru mesh dresses, and a strange assortment of neon spandex horrors.

Exhibit A:

In college, I took “Aerobic Dance” as a P.E. class.  It involved watching a very old VHS workout video with a woman who would have been right at home in that shiny pink-and-mesh leotard.  Heaven help me when the first hipster college kid comes into my office wearing something like that.  I might roll my eyes so hard they get stuck.

Exhibit B:

SERIOUSLY?  The crotch of those “harem pants” is more like “I pooped my pants.”  That is one high-wasted, tapered leg, poulterwang-inducing FREAKSHOW of a garment.