Yesterday morning, we officially finished updating our Keystone ski condo rental just in time for a professional photo shoot. Thanks to a super-speedy photographer (who, it turned out, had spent several years living in my hometown in Arkansas– small world!), the photos are here and ready to show off. As I mentioned in the “before” post, the overall aesthetic of the condo when we got it was “aggressively brown” with a side of “lodge cliche.” I think we’ve achieved a modern mountain aesthetic that feels both stylish and peaceful, and we’ve managed to add more sleeping accommodations. If you’d like to book a stay in our condo, please check out our VRBO listing.
I decided, in light of the AHCA, to research the average cost of health care for people with spina bifida. They call them “million dollar babies” for a reason. The first year, according to an article I found on PubMed, is $41,000. Every year after that is around $14,000. (The first year is the most expensive, usually, because of neurosurgery and NICU stays. I’d bet we racked up more than $41,000 in our first month of life.)
In Arkansas, we had private insurance, as well as Medicaid TEFRA, for which we paid an income-based premium and which we qualified for on the basis of Claire’s disability. It covered 100% of what our insurance didn’t. And there’s a lot that insurance doesn’t cover, but that is necessary to help kids with SB be as independent as possible, like therapies and developmental preschool. In Colorado, a supposedly more progressive state, we still have private insurance, but no Medicaid. We end up paying more out of pocket for our daughter’s care, even though we are privileged to have excellent insurance because my husband works for the university hospital.
I remember when I testified before a committee about Arkansas’ proposed 20 week abortion ban. I talked about how 20 weeks is right around the time that people usually get a fetal diagnosis that changes their very wanted pregnancy into a nightmare. One thing that people are wondering when they get that diagnosis is, can we afford to provide this child with the care she will need for the rest of her life? Will this bankrupt us? It’s a very real consideration. And I have read that 60% of people who receive a fetal diagnosis of spina bifida choose termination.
I’m pro-choice. I support safe, legal abortion care for any reason. However, I also truly believe that there are ways we can help people keep these WANTED pregnancies instead of terminating. And one of those ways is helping them afford the care their disabled kids will need for their entire lives.
The AHCA comes from the supposedly pro-life party. And yet this is a deadly bill for people with disabilities, many of whom depend on Medicaid for their life-sustaining care. This bill will make the answer to “Can we provide this child with the care she will need?” a “no.” I am confident it won’t help, and will in fact increase, that 60% termination statistic.
It also creates new worries for us as parents of a kid with spina bifida. Will she stand to have her coverage capped at some point? Will our insurer say, welp, you’re at the limit, we won’t pay any more for you, and kick her off? Will she be able to get a new policy with her pre-existing disability? Will she be able to work as an adult, or will she have to stay unemployed, lest she get too “rich” for her meager benefits? Will my husband have to stay in his job forever to ensure we keep the insurance we have now, because she might not be covered if we have to switch providers?
If you haven’t already called your senators about the AHCA, please do so. It’s a needless “screw you” to Obama that will cause pretty much everyone to pay more for less coverage, and will literally lead to people dying and pregnancies being terminated. Repealing the ACA and replacing it with this cruel bill helps no one but rich folks who will be getting a tax cut. Please call your Senators and oppose this bill. Today.
Two months, no blogs– what gives?? Well, here’s the story…
We recently received an unexpected inheritance from Jon’s grandfather, George, who died about a decade ago. George had wisely invested in Denver real estate way back when, and fortuitously, by waiting this long to sell his property, his three kids made a bunch of money, which they generously decided to share with all the grandkids, too. We wanted to honor this gift by investing it wisely, and, convinced by a very business-minded friend who owns two condos in Keystone, we decided to invest in a ski condo which we could manage as a vacation rental and also use ourselves.
Why Keystone? It’s close to Denver, we’ve enjoyed visiting there, and it is a little less pricey than some other ski areas, real-estate wise. I will say it felt surreal to be looking at ski condos that cost more than our actual home in Denver, but we felt pretty confident, thanks to our friend’s experience, that were making a good choice.
This is where I’ve been lately: shopping for, buying, and planning a renovation of our new ski condo. Since I’m a stay-at-home parent, it makes sense for me to be the primary manager of our vacation rental, so I’ve been researching and reading and pinning and shopping and generally obsessing with this condo. Part of the big plan is we want our place to look FANTASTIC in online listing photos, so I have been channeling my inner Joanna Gaines, and reminding Jon that he’s my Chip. I HAVE A VISION, OK?
My goal is to make our condo a stylish, rustic/industrial (no cliche lodge furniture or generic decor for us!), family-friendly destination. Because I know what it’s like to travel with little kids, I especially want to make it the number one unit people want to rent when bringing kids to Keystone. We will have pack and plays, high chairs, night lights, baby monitors, bouncy seats, toys, books, and more to prevent families from having to schlep so much gear. Also, our condo has a private pool not shared with any other buildings, and our unit is on the quiet slope-side of the building with no neighbors above. We also chose a unit close to the playground and skating rink/putt putt course, with the Kidtopia headquarters in the same building. Kidtopia puts on cool kids events and activities– on a recent visit, our girls participated in a strider bike race, and Claire got second place! Our unit has slope views, and you can walk to the lifts.
I figured I would share our “before” photos this week, and next week will be the big reveal of our renovated unit. If you want to go ahead and make a reservation, you can check out our VRBO listing and sign on up!
I don’t give a lot of marriage advice. I mean, every couple is different, and you have to find your own groove. The most I’ll usually say is “Marry someone you truly enjoy spending time with” and “Be most excellent to each other, and party on dudes.” But, I’ve been married going on 11 years now, and there’s one piece of ubiquitous advice that has always rubbed me the wrong way: “Never go to bed mad.”
This is really dumb advice.
We tell people all the time to “sleep on it” when they’re facing a big decision, and it’s because we know that sometimes you just need to let your brain work on something while you stop thinking about it, and maybe things will seem clearer in the morning. We know that big decisions take time and marination. But we tell people in a relationship that they have to solve all their differences and arguments before the sun sets on them?
Sometimes the thing you’re fighting about is just stupid, and you’re so far in that you forgot that fact, but you’ll realize it when you wake up in the morning and it no longer seems to matter as much.
Sometimes, particularly if you have small children, you’re not really so much in a fight as you are sleep-deprived and irrational, and after some sleep you’ll realize that the whole thing wasn’t even a disagreement.
Sometimes one of you is a hot-head and needs some cooling off time.
Sometimes one of you is an internal processor, and you’ll be able to work stuff out and communicate your side more clearly after you’ve had some time to work it out in your own head for a while.
Sometimes everyone will be able to be calmer and more receptive if you continue the discussion over a cup of coffee the next day.
Sometimes, going to bed mad may even mean one of you storms off to bed and the other conks out watching TV on the couch, and you both wake up missing each other and in a more loving frame of mind the next day.
Sometimes, without the pressure of WE HAVE TO SOLVE THIS RIGHT NOW BECAUSE WE CAN’T GO TO BED BEFORE WE RESOLVE IT, you can actually have the space to come up with a better, more amicable resolution.
Sometimes you really should just go to bed mad. Because in the morning, you’ll find you just aren’t mad anymore.
So, there’s my new piece of relationship advice. Screw “never go to bed mad.” Sometimes you should just sleep on it.
Here is a letter I just sent to the Governor of Arkansas, because I am heartsick over the state’s plans to execute 8 men right after Easter. Please join me in praying that the Governor will change his plans, and if you feel so-moved, write a letter yourself.
April 6, 2017
Dear Governor Hutchinson,
I was born and raised in Arkansas. I graduated from high school in Hot Springs. Went to college in Batesville. Left for 3 years while my husband did a residency in South Carolina, and returned when he got a job at ACH afterward. I gave birth to twins in Little Rock. They learned to walk there. Though we moved to Denver last summer for a job opportunity, Arkansas will always be my home.
It is with heartsickness and horror that from afar, I follow the news and see that Arkansas plans to fire up what I can only describe as an assembly line of death right after Easter. I was nurtured by the Presbyterian Church of Arkansas. I worship a Jesus who was executed by the state. I love a Jesus whose resurrection, which we celebrate at Easter, revealed the lie of redemptive violence, and showed that the only true power is that of life and love. I know you love that Jesus too.
It is in the name of Jesus that I beg, pray and humbly ask you to stop these 8 executions. Many of the men who stand to die at your hands are mentally impaired, had poor representation, valid reasons to grant clemency and halt the death machine. We cannot worship an executed and risen Lord on one day and execute others slaughterhouse style the next. There is no “Father forgive them, for they know not what they do” in such an act– we know what we do. We know that it is horrific, unChristlike, unhuman. It is a blasphemy.
If I could, I would be protesting at the gates of the governor’s mansion. Instead, I am praying 1,000 miles away, sending you this letter, begging you to do all that is within your power to live out the teachings of the Jesus we both love and celebrate in this season.
One common bit of feedback on my last skincare post was that many readers and friends are looking for skincare more on a drugstore budget. I hear that. I tend to stick with “natural” and “organic” products and those are generally expensive, though I have to shout out the Botanics Line (currently I can only find it online at Ulta or Target) for offering cheap, effective, organic skincare. In the spirit of trying to help my friends and readers find affordable, safe, and effective skincare, I decided to order and try some products from The Ordinary. The Ordinary is very hip in the skincare nerd world these days for offering lots of good, active ingredients in good, scientific formulations, at what seem like bonkers prices. The problem is, unless you’ve done a lot of skincare research, it can be hard to figure out what to buy, how to use it, what order to use products in, etc. Seriously, I think Deciem, the company that makes The Ordinary should be paying the skincare nerds at r/skincareaddiction for all the service they’re performing answering thread upon thread about how to use The Ordinary products, which products do what, and in what order.
Note: I ordered these products myself, and this is just my review as someone who bought and tried the products. This is my honest opinion, and this post is not sponsored.
I went to the girls school for their “walk around the sun” today. At first I was like, oh great, a hippy dippy Montessori ritual, but it’s actually pretty cute– there’s a candle in the middle of the circle time rug, and there are “rays” that each say a month of the year around it to make a “sun.” The kids get to hold a globe and walk around the sun once for each year old they are, and they pause after each year for a parent to share a story about that year and show a picture. A cute little ritual that manages to teach kids about the solar system and the months of the year and aging all at once. Plus the girls had seen other kiddos get to walk around the sun and had really been looking forward to it.
It was also good for me to reflect on the past five years. The first year of their lives seemed to last forever, counting time in weeks and months, and, admittedly, though a magical year, full of a lot of loneliness and boredom for me, too. Ever since then, time gets faster. I think five is going to be a great year. I know we will have a lot of fun this summer, and then this fall brings KINDERGARTEN. I just can’t believe we’re here, but I’m happy to be– I love the little people they are becoming. I treasure the privilege of watching them become more themselves every single day.
Tomorrow we will be celebrating with a rainbow-themed birthday party. Cross your fingers that the weather cooperates. Colorado in springtime is a trip. We had sunny and 70s all week and today we might get snow.