cursed sleep

At the beginning of my pregnancy, blessedly free from the all-day pukes called “morning sickness” that so many women suffer, my one persistent symptom (aside from having to pee constantly from the moment we got that little plus sign) has been INSANE TIREDNESS. Like, mono tired. Ran a marathon tired. Completely senseless tired. I spent a lot of time napping with Tinycat (who, it must be said, is a champion napper):

Now that I’m in the home stretch, it’s become frustrating because I’m still tired, and I’m increasingly incapacitated by my ballooning body, but I can’t. freakin’. sleep.

I know! Right this second, you’re thinking something along the lines of: oh poor naive dear, if she thinks this is bad, just wait til she has actual newborn twin humans on her hands demanding to be fed and changed and held all the time.

I KNOW!

And yet, it would be nice if I could sleep now. People say helpful things like, “Sleep while you can!” And boy do I wish I could. Between reflux (which is a nice way of saying “constantly throwing up in one’s mouth”), restless legs, difficulty rolling over which results in weird hip pains from being paralyzed in one spot, hot flashes, and having to pee every single hour on the hour of the night…. and I’m not sleeping much.

I’m thinking I might start “sleeping” on the futon in the nursery, not because Jon is somehow keeping me up, but because lying sleepless next to someone happily, deep-breathingly, sleeping away makes me irrationally, jealously angry. He’s off in dreamland, and I’m sitting there thinking NO FAIR NO FAIR NO FAIR.

In the meantime, not sleeping at night means lots of napping during the day, which perpetuates the vicious cycle. Perhaps I’m becoming nocturnal.

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10 thoughts on “cursed sleep

  1. This is my life too. I actually awoke extremely pissed this morning because last night’s “sleep” was such a dud. I have resigned myself to just be useless today.

    Also, I get so annoyed when people tell me “to get sleep now”, as if one can stockpile it and redeem it at a later date.

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  2. Awwwww Bless your heart !!
    ‘taint funny when you can’t sleep.
    Guess you’ve tried drinking herbal teas in the evening…..sometimes
    they work, sometimes they just taste good, and soothe your soul.
    Old wives tale is warm milk helps you fall asleep…..BLECH !!
    Who wants warm milk ??
    Thinking of you….and the wee ones too.

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  3. That sounds miserable! And I totally get the anger at someone who is sleeping nicely when I. cannot. snooze. (you and Tinycat just get more adorable every picture, though)

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  4. Wow, sounds like menopause! Remember this when you are in your fifties, except you won’t be pregnant.

    Really though I feel for you. It’s so darned frustrating to not sleep well

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  5. I’m sure you’ve tried it, but if not, maybe try melatonin? I understand, though. :( I was happy to get up to a baby crying every two hours, because that meant there was ONE hour in between that I wasn’t having to go pee! You will not BELIEVE how long you can go between pees after they come out! I am still ecstatic about not having a baby on my bladder, and it’s been 18 months.

    All I can say about this stage is “You can’t be pregnant forever…this too shall pass.” I won’t tell you to enjoy it because, well, there’s a lot that’s not very enjoyable. But just think, very soon, you will be walking in a sunny park with your lovely little girls! And you won’t have to pee or waddle.

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  6. Ha. Yeah, “Sleep while you can” is just about as helpful as the post-baby “Sleep when they sleep!” advice. Hope you get some relief. It got harder for me later in pregnancy, too, and my husband nearly lost his life by daring to request that I try to take up less of the bed.

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  7. At the end of my pregnancies I always end up in the guest room. Or on the couch. Or wandering around the house all night. Because it’s SO hard to sleep when you’re so uncomfortable – and I can’t even imagine it with twins.

    My doctor told me Tylenol PM was safe and I found half a dose worked pretty well when I was so exhausted I started to see double.

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  8. I have nothing helpful to add except that happened to me, too. And when my baby finally was born and I literally never slept, I was even more frustrated that I hadn’t been able to sleep for the last 2 months of pregnancy. What is sorta interesting is that, when I was able to fall asleep during pregnancy, around 3-4 a.m., my daughter would wake me up faithfully at 7 a.m. with crazy kicking, like pee-myself-kicking. She still wakes up faithfully at 7 a.m. on most days, 2.5 years later!

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  9. I used melatonin, rescue remedy and the couch….alone….in the last few weeks. I personally slept MUCH better once my babies came OUT… despite getting up to nurse quite often! Love love! Thinking about you!

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  10. I remember all that from the last two months I was pregnant with my twin boys. I am still a little upset that I couldn’t even sleep well before they were born because it only got more disruptive once they were and it still is five and a half months later. At least it’s getting a bit better now :) It’s a bit hard to get used to, but I frequently nap along with them whenever possible and it makes a HUGE difference in my sanity

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