One thing about being pregnant with TWINS?! is that everyone has lots of questions. Most of them are actually kind of rude! But I figure people aren’t generally trying to be rude, but just don’t realize how rude they’re being. Surely no one would ask me prying questions about my sex life and lady parts in the full knowledge of just how rude that is, right?? (Wait, don’t answer that.)
Here are a few of the questions we’ve been getting a lot:
Are they natural?
Well, I’m pretty sure they aren’t synthetic… is that what you mean? Of course it isn’t. The person really wants to know if I had some sort of fertility treatment, which is kind of private, right? The answer is no, these are just freak of nature twins, but the question still feels a little weird.
Do twins run in your family?
Ah, everyone is an amateur geneticist, but most of them only have part of the story right! The answer to this one is also no, not unless going back a few generations counts, and the scientific truth is that twins outside of your immediate family do not “count” toward making you more likely to have twins. Also, only the mother’s family counts, because the only kind of twins that happen genetically are fraternal– which only occur when the mother releases more than one egg that gets fertilized and implanted. It has nothing to do with the father or his family. Identical twins happen when a single fertilized egg splits into two or more embryos somewhere along the way– this just happens, and the genetics of the parents have nothing to do with it.
Are they identical?
We don’t know yet, and without a genetic test it’s possible that we’ll never know. For now, I can tell you that the twins appear to be di-di, meaning they’re in two separate sacs. This could mean that they are fraternal, or it could mean that they are identical but split within 3 days or so of conception. If we find out they’re two separate genders, we’ll know for sure before birth that they’re fraternal. Otherwise, the placenta(s) could tell us, or they could look markedly different, or we could get genetic testing done.
Are you going to have more kids?
Seriously?? I haven’t even had these yet. How bout we wait and see how it goes first?
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Trust me Sarah, people get even more rude after they are born. Because you have TWINS!?, you are suddenly like a freak of nature. My mother and I were having lunch at Cracker Barrell shortly after bringing home the boys and I counted 14 people that came to our table and interrupted our conversation to ask about the TWINS!?. And don’t even get me started about trying to go out with the double stroller-people would yank off my blankets just to see them. No, they aren’t intentionally being rude, but it does happen. Set your boundaries early…or just wear a t-shirt like this:
1) Yes, they are twins.
2) No, they are not identical.
3) Yes, I have my hands full.
4) Unless you are my mother or my husband you don’t need to know if I had fertility treatments, my family history, whether I am breastfeeding or the details of my labor.
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I will never understand why “Are you going to have more kids?” is the first question everyone asks.
Also, I assumed that lady bits talk was pretty personal. Now I realize that pretty much every woman who has given birth is happy to talk about her pregnancy and labor in great detail. I wish I’d realized that beforehand. (For most of my pregnancy, I didn’t really want to know, but the last few weeks, I scoured the internet for birth stories.) Still, you’d think these folks would remember what it was like to be pregnant and stop annoying the exhausted hormonal woman.
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Ah the joys of being pregnant and motherhood. Just wait — it gets worse with private questions such as Are you breastfeeding? Are you going to work or stay home? Do you want more kids? And if not, why? Seriously there’s something about pregnancy and parenthood that brings out the rude in people. Congratulations on your twins and just be happy and blessed!
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