it’s TRICK or TREAT folks

WordPress has a fun little feature whereby they showcase seemingly random posts on the main page, encouraging you to click and check out new blogs. I knew I was going to be irritated the minute I saw this one: “Halloween Candy Alternatives.”

I thought, well THAT’S a post from someone hoping their house gets egged.

Seriously though, the OP writes, “Providing some alternatives to reducing the sugar glut can be very helpful and even welcome – especially considering the ongoing health problems we’re generating in this country through our passion for sugar,” and then proceeds to list several food (granola bars, nuts) and non-food (wax lips) things to give out to trick-or-treat-ers.

Ah yes, nothing sucks the fun out of Halloween like some OMGOBESITY fearmonering– it’s scarier than zombies! Instead of being ware the undead, BEWARE THE UNTHIN!

People in this country aren’t obese because of Halloween.  Kids aren’t obese from one night of candy.  Being the Scrooge of your neighborhood isn’t going to solve the problem of childhood obesity.  In fact, I’m pretty sure most health experts would say it’s fine and dandy to indulge oneself in treats once in a while, everything in moderation and whatnot.  If you’re the PARENT of trick-or-treat-ers, you can even ration the candy out over several days, like my parents always did, after they checked each piece for razor blades, of course.

If you’re really concerned about the health of children, start advocating for a healthier school lunch program which includes breakfast.  Get involved in community gardens in areas without access to fresh produce.  Make sure your local farmers’ market accepts food stamps and WIC.  Make sure kids in your local schools get P.E. every single day.  But don’t piss all over Halloween.  Unless you want to be known as the weirdo who handed out pretzels instead of Reese’s cups by all the kids in your neighborhood.