At age three, I memorized “Madeline” down to the page turns and convinced my mother I had learned to read. That is, until, impressed with her little genius, she handed me another book, and I began to recite, “In an old house in Paris, all covered with vines.” That’s when the jig was up.
Still, this was the sign that I was ready to read, and they began teaching me. By the time I reached the first grade, I was devouring Nancy Drew books. I still vividly remember getting busted with “The Quest for the Missing Map” under my desk during math class. Though you wouldn’t know it now, I was a very shy kid. Maybe it was because of the shuttling back and forth in the wake of my parents’ divorce when I was five, but I didn’t have all that many good friends as a young kid. Books were my constant companion. I could be found up at early hours, eager to get back to reading. When upset, when frightened, when stressed, I could be found reading.
At some point, my parents started paying me to memorize poems (and my father wonders how I ended up an English major despite his best scientist efforts…), and one I memorized was this one, by Emily Dickinson:
THERE is no frigate like a book
To take us lands away,
Nor any coursers like a page
Of prancing poetry.
This traverse may the poorest take
Without oppress of toll;
How frugal is the chariot
That bears a human soul!
The last line about the human soul particularly resonates with me because books have sustained my soul in the roughest of times. Some even became old friends that I revisited over and over again, their familiar words becoming a constant source of comfort, like “Little Women.” Some even became like diaries, with my thoughts scribbled in the margins. At some point, I began underlining particularly poignant or interesting passages, a habit I’m now unable to break. For me, books are interactive things.
Which is why a blog I found via Andrew Sullivan is particularly interesting to me. It’s called Forgotten Bookmarks, and is written by a used bookstore employee, cataloging the things found left behind in used books, things like postcards and photographs and scrawled notes-to-self. It has me wondering about books I’ve read and passed on along the way (I have a habit of giving away books to strangers on occasion), and what I could have left behind, and whether anyone has found these things.
"Don't you just love...fall? It makes me want to shop for back to school supplies. I would send you a bouquet of newly sharpened pencils if I knew your name and address."
As July draws to a close, and August rolls in on a heat wave, the college campus where I work is beginning, after a dormant summer, to bustle with activity. Students are moving back to town– I saw a station wagon with a mattress strapped on top driving nearby while out on my lunch break. Professors are starting to ask me, “How do you work the new copier again?” as they anticipate running off reams of syllabi to hand out to classes in a few short weeks. It’s the time my dad used to call “the most wonderful time of the year,” a catchphrase he picked up from an old office supply store commercial, which featured parents singing and dancing in eager anticipation as their kids shopped for school supplies and prepared to be someone else’s problem for the majority of daylight hours. My dad had something for a flare for the dramatic, and would re-enact the commercial, dancing down the aisles of the office supply store, riding his cart like a chariot, singing the usually-Christmas song, “It’s the most wonderful time of the year!” Of course, my sister and I, sad to see our summer vacation come to an end, would roll our eyes and trudge through the store dejectedly.
Now I’m wondering what the hell was wrong with us.
Now, I don’t need a Facebook quiz to tell me I’m Hermione Granger. I’m a hand-raising, answer giving, note taking, supernerd who thrived in school, loved making good grades, and just generally liked learning things. I was good at school. Still, I didn’t realize until oh, about a year as a post-college working stiff just how wonderful school is compared to “real life.” The difference is all in the feedback loop.
In school, you regularly receive grades, so you know if you’re on track, if you’re doing well, if there are areas you need to improve on. Moreover, if you’re a good student like me, most of the feedback you’re getting is very positive. This is in no way true of most of my experience in the working world (until my current position, where I have the world’s best boss, which really makes all the difference). Generally, in the working world, no one is going to say anything to you about how you’re doing until you screw something up. The only time you’re going to get feedback is when someone has something negative to say about you and the way you do things. You can show up on time, perform all your assigned tasks, and you’re not going to hear from anyone until the day some jerk gives you zero notice to pull something together and you miss a deadline for the first time in six months, and then, boy are you gonna HEAR ABOUT IT. If you’re someone generally used to being the best, to being praised for your efforts, this is REALLY hard to take. I’m beginning to see why some folks become the much-maligned “professional student.”
So, despite having graduated college 2-ish years ago, eager to throw off the shackles of academia and set foot into the world a free, adult woman, I find myself really missing school. I miss racing to read through assigned texts and then sitting around tables discussing them in seminars. I miss picking out paper topics, poring over journal articles, and churning out research papers, 4-5 pages per hour. Yes– I wrote so many papers in college that I know exactly how long it takes me to write them, provided I’ve done my typically extensive prewriting process. I miss school. I was good at school. With school I know who I am and where I stand and what I’m supposed to do.
Now, I’m sure some are saying, well, if you like school so much, why not just go back? The problem is, I don’t know what I would go back to school to study. Some days I dream of studying English, other days political science, others law school, and still others, social work. Unlike my husband, who has always been relatively sure what he wanted to be when he grows up, I have reached the age of 24.5 and still have no idea.
So I’ve decided to dip my toe in the water. As a college employee, I get to take one class free each semester, and so I’ve been admitted to the Graduate School as a nondegree student and will be taking a 500 level English course on 18th Century Women’s Writers this fall. I’m eagerly sharpening my pencils and comparing prices on the texts. Who knows, maybe if I like it, I’ll make that a DEGREE student. Anyway, I just ordered myself a Moleskine academic planner, and if you listen very closely you can hear me singing, “It’s the most wonderful time of the year!”
Image via Flickr user Merelymel13 who just so happened to quote one of my favorite movies in the caption, prompting me to use that caption as well.
Three years ago today, a crazy 21-year-old still in college walked down an aisle and said “I do.” She was crazy not because she was unsure of herself but because she was so. darn. sure. She took a leap without an ounce of fear or hesitation, which is perhaps the craziest thing of all.
That 21-year-old is obviously me, but the third person sounds so much more writerly, doesn’t it? I had every reason in the world to be scared out of my mind– as the child of divorce, I know all too well the reality of a broken marriage, the odds that things won’t work out, the possibility that something that began in eye-gazing wonder could end in screaming and the crashing of a box of wedding dishes into a driveway. But after three years of dating, in which we saw each other at our best and our worst, and after a seriously in-depth book I highly recommend called 101 Questions to Ask before you get Engaged, we knew we were ready, that we could face whatever came our way as long as we were facing it together.
In some ways, when we were getting ready for the wedding, I realized that we had already been becoming married. I know that sounds strange, but if marriage is the merging of two into one, we had slowly been knitted together, heart-string by heart-string, over the three years before. Married wasn’t something we suddenly became with the incantation of vows in a ceremony on a wedding day, but something we had been and are still becoming, day by day, intimacy upon intimacy. As someone who grew up in the Presbyterian Church, the wedding itself reminded me of what I had always been told about sacraments. They are outward signs of inward graces. They’re our way of acknowledging things that had already been at work within us, just like baptism isn’t a magical act that confers salvation, but a ritual that recognizes salvation which has been freely poured out like water.
About 9 months after we got married, I graduated from college and went on a two-week trip to England with my English class. It was an absolutely wonderful trip, full of hiking across the Brontes’ moors and up peaks that inspired Wordsworth and around lakes that spoke to Ruskin. We kept journals throughout the experience, as a way of receiving our grades, and in many ways I used my journal to pour out my heart as I was missing my husband terribly during the longest time we’d spent apart since our wedding. I remember wondering what my professor would think about these ramblings, because I wrote about this strange feeling of not being able to enjoy the trip to the fullest because the one person I wanted to be sitting next to on double-decker buses, strolling hand in hand through Kensington Gardens, and just talking to about everything was not there with me. It was on that trip, I wrote, that I started to begin to realize “just how married” I really was. It was like I was having a wonderful experience while simultaneously feeling like half my heart was across an ocean. Thankfully, my professor did NOT think me a sad sap, and wrote that she had really enjoyed my journal.
Now, three years after my wedding day, I can see how these passing years have made us even more married, ever more tightly bound together. These past three years have been some of the hardest of our lives, living far away from all of our family and friends, suffering the stresses and indignities of residency, and the emotions and frustrations that come with sleep deprivation and schedules that don’t always line up and the difficulties of loneliness. And yet, more than anything, these three difficult years have shown us that we can face anything that comes our way so long as we face it hand in hand. In a few months we’ll get an email or an envelope informing us where we’ll be spending the next three years of our lives as Jon does a fellowship in pediatric emergency medicine, and it may be here, it may be one of our homes (Little Rock or Denver), it may be a completely new city altogether where we have to start fresh all over again (Nashville, Birmingham, Salt Lake City). But instead of being afraid of that challenge, as I was at the beginning of residency, I’m excited for it. I even welcome it. It’s completely out of our control, but I know that we will thrive and be closer and better for whatever the next chapter holds. Because we’re doing that now, and we’re going to keep on keepin’ on. I’m excited to see how much more married I feel after the next 3 years, and the next 30…
Sometimes I get the feeling that I am the target of a very specific market research campaign waged by gurus at J.Crew. You see, they send out emails, and, I believe, count the seconds between my receipt of “ADDITIONAL 20% OFF” and my arrival either at the website or in the store, which happens to be a hop, skip, and a jump down the street from my office. They send out these emails and then rub their hands together like DANCE, MONKEY, DANCE. And usually I do. I’m addicted to their swimwear and their knit dresses and their sweaters, especially, but really? If I had my choice of only one store, and unlimited funds, all my clothes would probably come from J.Crew (a close second would be Anthropologie, but I only own one dress from there, as they are SO DANG EXPENSIVE and less conducive to my mix-and-match style. Plus, who am I foolin’? I may wish I looked arty but I’m really some flavor of laid-back prep).
Anyway, it’s been, oh, a week since I last purchased something from J.Crew, and like clockwork, the new catalog just arrived to make me drool over things I can’t afford until they are at least an additional 20% off clearance. So I figured instead of shopping, I’d just post a few of the things I’m coveting here on the ‘ol blerg.
Silk Frances Cami, $88.
I love this cami. But I would never be able to own it because a) OH FOR THE LOVE OF SWEATING and b) I’d NEVER get it dry cleaned so it would never be worn. But how gorgeous is it? SO GORGEOUS THAT’S HOW.
Slub cotton swirling flowers tee, $45.
I wear a lot of t-shirts. I have an entire drawer full of t-shirts. They go with my skirts and jeans, and I pretty much don’t wear shirts that aren’t of the t-shirt variety, unless they are tank tops, which really, how different is that? This isn’t just an ordinary t-shirt though. It’s pretty and flowery and feminine and special. Anyway, I’m sure this shirt cost them $3 to make with child labor in some East Asian country, and there is absolutely no reason for it to cost $45 except to TAUNT ME, you cruel J.Crew jerks.
Dressy Jersey Ruffle Neck Dress, $88.
Ok, this? This I will buy. When it goes on sale, of course. This dress is exactly my JAM. I own, I believe, 7 knit dresses from J.Crew, and have been wearing them 99.9% of this spring and summer. They are my wardrobe. They’re comfy as heck and yet I don’t actually LOOK like I’m wearing a nightgown, which is exactly how comfy they are. (Key here, though, is that belt, as I need a defined waist or I look like I’ve got a bun in the oven.) I’m counting down until I can get my hands on this for less than $88.
Also? If I could order that model’s hair, I so would. I confess, J.Crew models’ long, naturally-wavy-looking hair was a major inspiration for growing my hair out and embracing my natural texture, allowing me to sleep many more minutes a day. So thanks for that, J.Crew!
Flutter Scoopneck Dress, $78.
I would also wear the heck out of this dress. It has all the things I love: made of t-shirt, fun details, defined waist, pretty color. But thanks to my cheap cheap cheap mama, I would never ever pay full price for something like this. It’s a curse.
Silk Sirrah Dress, $148.
This is beautiful. I want it in the dark blue color. And I promise I wouldn’t be ridiculous enough to wear it with SHOOTIES. I really dig that it’s SPOSED to look wrinkly, because I refuse to iron. It also has a skirt cousin.
Nottingham tall suede flat boots, $250.
I’ve been looking for the perfect tall boots for YEARS. Alas, I have ridiculously skinny (13″) calves, and all boots flap around my calves and look ridiculous. I really love these, as the gray color would eliminate worries about black vs. brown, and they don’t have a heel, which is crucial, as I’m like a drunk baby giraffe in heels. I’d have to call them or go in store to figure out the calf issue though.
Kelcey crackle-metallic ballet flats, $125.
I could almost justify these, as I wore my last pair of silver ballet flats until the sole I re-glued on finally refused to stay glued, part of the silver had rubbed off the toes, and the inside lining was ripping out. I wear so many ballet flats that my husband’s family refers to them as “Sarah shoes.”
Dominique gown, $2850.
Let’s end with something totally fantastical, shall we? Every time the J.Crew catalog comes, I ask Jon if we can have another wedding so I can have another wedding dress. I was not all that into wedding planning, but man do I love wedding dresses. I ride past a couture wedding boutique every day on the bus and drool over the dresses, which have a similar aesthetic to J.Crew’s. Anyway, my three-year anniversary is tomorrow, and the ONLY thing I’d do over again is I’d get my dress, and my bridesmaid’s dresses, from J.Crew. (And lest any of you think I’m insane, no, my original wedding gown did not cost this much. Try $350 at David’s Bridal.)
So, maybe I should go buy a lotto ticket if I ever hope to have even one of these things? Curse you J.Crew and your endless temptations!
So, almost a month after her crazy pre-Fourth-of-July “Declaration of Independence,” Sarah Palin is no longer governor of Alaska, having handed over power to the Lt. Gov. who was sworn in yesterday after Palin, apparently wearing the hide of a one-eyed one-horned flying purple people eater that she hunted aerially, gave a pouty and trademarkedly random farewell speech that many pundits have compared to a poorly given high school commencement address.
Despite the fact that Palin thinks it’s OBVIOUS why she resigned, we still don’t really know why. My best impression given what she’s said? The press is mean and she can’t take it. And she wouldn’t be able to do anything in her second half of a term, anyway, even without the mean mean press, because she’s under the impression that “lame ducks” can’t accomplish anything at all, ever.
Now, people who know me, and they know how much I love this state, some still are choosing not to hear why I made the decision to chart a new course to advance the state. And it should be so obvious to you. (indicating heckler) It is because I love Alaska this much, sir (at heckler) that I feel it is my duty to avoid the unproductive, typical, politics as usual, lame duck session in one’s last year in office. How does that benefit you? No, with this decision now, I will be able to fight even harder for you, for what is right, for truth. And I have never felt like you need a title to do that.
I’m reminded again of Dahlia Lithwick’s Slate piece about Palin’s communication style. She appears to REALLY think that she’s made herself perfectly clear and anyone who doesn’t understand why she does what she does is just being dense on purpose. Lithwick wrote:
If you think of Palin as someone who never felt herself to be fully heard or understood, not truly politically realized in the eyes of the American public, her rage toward the country, the media, and those of us who fail to love and understand her is easier to comprehend. Think of an American visiting France who believes that if he just speaks louder, he will be speaking French. Palin has done everything in her power to explain herself to us, and still we fail to appreciate what she is all about. I’d be frustrated, too, if I thought I was offering up straight talk and nobody was getting the message. Especially if I held a degree in communications…because she believes she has been crystal clear all along, she’s come to resent us, too. The enduring political lesson of Sarah Palin may simply be that for most of her political career she’s been lost in translation, without fully appreciating that only in translation was she ever, briefly found.
So, no one really knows why Sarah Palin quit being governor, and no one, apparently not even Palin herself, knows what she is going to do next. Given the fact she has reiterated multiple times now that she “doesn’t need a title” to effect change, I’m thinking maybe she’s done with elected office? Not that she could WIN elected office anyway.
Though Palin has a small but very enthusiastic fan base, she (and those who see her as the future of the GOP) seems to misunderstand that in order to win a GOP nomination, she cannot rely solely on white evangelicals. The Wall Street wing of the party basically hates her, perhaps because they’ve always stood for smarts and economics, two things that Palin can’t count on as strong suits. At least one GOP strategist has called her “another Huckabee,” but in reality, she’s LESS than a Huckabee, as in a recent Washington Post poll, Huckabee outstrips Palin in support from white evangelicals, 2-1. Imagine if Huckabee and Palin were both in the running for the nomination. Together they’d split the social conservative wing, and a third person would likely win the nomination, probably someone like Mitt Romney.
So, if you ask me, Palin may very well continue to be a player in terms of the sheer attention that she gets. She’ll definitely have a book, and maybe her own TV talk show, just like Huckabee. She’ll probably raise money for the party and support candiates with similar views. But I doubt she’ll ever win a nomination for national office, and even if she did, there’s no way she’d actually win that office. Statistically, the more America gets to know about her, the more Palin’s favorability wanes, as was the case in Alaska as well.
So, while I love to make fun of her, particularly because I think she’s a not-particularly-intelligent whiner, you probably won’t be hearing from me as much on the subject of Sarah Palin. All she really is, when it comes down to it, is an attention whore. And when people like me write about her, and better yet, give her someone to point to as part of the evil evil liberal, elitist media, we are giving her exactly what she wants. So, farewell Sarah Palin. Don’t let the door hitcha on your way out. *wink*
This actually looks surprisingly like my Craigslist-found bike, except mine has gears, a bell, and a fancy new basket.
I just said to Jon, “We’re having a very ‘No Impact Man‘ kind of Saturday.” And it’s true! This morning Jon mowed the lawn with his fancy non-fossil-fueled Neuton mower, then we walked to our favorite local natural/slow food/soul food restaurant for brunch and also bought a dozen local eggs and chatted with the owner about the difference between commercial and local food. I had biscuits and gravy, Jon had some gumbo, and we shared fries with bearnaise and a green bean salad. MMMMM! Then we came home, grabbed our shopping bags, and hopped on our bikes to go to the grocery store, and I got to test out my new bike basket which Jon so sweetly installed on my bike this morning. Verdict: slightly wobbly and harder to steer, but it worked! Not a bad way to spend a Saturday morning. What are you up to this weekend?
I'd rather be napping in this hammock than working today. Boo to being a grownup.
Apparently, as a wee tot I was quite the early riser and would stand next to my parents’ bed yelling HAPPPPEEEEEE MORNINGGGGG over and over until someone woke up to give me some attention. I guess this is better than shrieking or something, but let me just tell you right now, at this point? I’d probably lock my toddler self in her room and tell her not to come out until the sun comes up. I’m big on sleeping. I could sleep 12 hours and STILL take a nap the next day. If there were an Olympics of sleeping, I’d be a contestant.
All that to say, I’m saying “happy morning” today not because it IS one– it’s Friday and I wish it were Saturday– but because I’m trying to convince myself. It’s gonna be a busy day at work today, kids, and this is probably all the blog you’re gonna get. Feel lucky if you get a brief “bufflo tips” is what I’m sayin’. Hope your day is less busy than mine. Catch ya on the flip side.
I just finished doing my favorite new lunch break activity– shutting the office door and watching the previous night’s Rachel Maddow Show via iTunes, and after wanting to write about health care for a while now, I finally know what I want to write about.
Rachel showed clips of several Republican leaders clearly using what has been an agreed-upon talking point. Each expressed concern that Democrats are trying to “rush” health care reform, and what we really need to do is slow down. Quotes taken from the transcript:
SEN. MITCH MCCONNELL (R), MINORITY LEADER: This is too important to be rushed. We need to take our time and do it right.
MICHAEL STEELE, RNC CHAIRMAN: It is urgent and it is indisputable, but the problem I have with it is the rush that is underway here.
SEN. JIM DEMINT (R), SOUTH CAROLINA: This doesn’t take effect for four years, Matt. We don’t need to pass it in two weeks.
SEN. JON KYL (R), ARIZONA: The president and some Democrats insist we must rush this plan through.
NEWT GINGRICH (R), FORMER HOUSE SPEAKER: But I wish he’d say three things. I wish he’d say, first of all, we’re going to slow down.
REP. JOHN BOEHNER (R), MINORITY LEADER: It is pretty clear that they’re going to rush ahead.
Of course, as Rachel pointed out, with video, we’ve actually been trying to achieve health reform for SIXTY ONE YEARS. Yep. She had a clip of Harry Truman asking Congress to pass a health plan. So, this isn’t a “rush.”
But even if it were, it SHOULD be. Every day that we delay on health reform, the deeper our nation sinks into debt, the more people lose jobs, health insurance, and homes, the more people get sick and even die for lack of health coverage. We need health reform and we need it STAT.
Here are some reasons:
“Nearly 46 million Americans, or 18 percent of the population under the age of 65, were without health insurance in 2007, the latest government data available.” And with unemployment rising so precipitously in the past 2 years, we can assume the total is much much higher, both because of people losing the jobs that provided their insurance or because they lost the job that allowed them to pay for their private insurance. (NCHC)
“The number of uninsured children in 2007 was 8.1 million – or 10.7 percent of all children in the U.S.” (NCHC)
“Lack of insurance compromises the health of the uninsured because they receive less preventive care, are diagnosed at more advanced disease stages, and once diagnosed, tend to receive less therapeutic care and have higher mortality rates than insured individuals.” (NCHC)
“About 20 percent of the uninsured (vs. three percent of those with coverage) say their usual source of care is the emergency room.” (NCHC) This drives up costs for the rest of us because EDs are NOT money makers for hospitals. In order to remain profitable, hospitals must collect what they lose in the ED by increasing prices on all other services. Also from the NCHC: “Hospitals provide about $34 billion worth of uncompensated care a year.”
“The increasing reliance of the uninsured on the emergency department has serious economic implications, since the cost of treating patients is higher in the emergency department than in other outpatient clinics and medical practices.” (NCHC)
According to Elizabeth Edwards on last night’s Rachel Maddow Show, “Sixty-two percent of bankruptcy is being caused by medical costs; 50 percent of home foreclosures.” And if you don’t think home foreclosures affect YOU, think again. If the house next to yours is foreclosed, or a house in your neighborhood, it hurts YOUR property values.
Health care costs are rising faster than we can even begin to keep up: “In 2008, total national health expenditures were expected to rise 6.9 percent — two times the rate of inflation.” (NCHC)
“Although nearly 46 million Americans are uninsured, the United States spends more on health care than other industrialized nations, and those countries provide health insurance to all their citizens.” (NCHC)
The rising costs are HURTING our businesses and our economy: “Health insurance expenses are the fastest growing cost component for employers. Unless something changes dramatically, health insurance costs will overtake profits by the end of 2008.” (NCHC) How many companies could be expanding and creating jobs, but can’t, because of the burden of health care?
And because this list is already long enough, I’ll just point out that the QUALITY of our healthcare is nowhere near what it should be for the amount we spend. You can read more here. I know that fear mongerers love to point out cases of people “dying in Canada” or wherever because of evil socialized health care, but there are people and babies dying right here in the USA thanks to our system.
Hopefully you can now see why this situation is so urgent. We can’t listen to Republicans telling us to slow down, when really, they are just hoping to kill health reform altogether. So get educated. Read about the major provisions of the proposed reform in the House bill.
It seems the biggest point of contention is the public health option, similar to the health insurance provided to federal employees. Did you read that last part? It’s a government-run health insurance program. Anyone who tells you that this is “socialized medicine” is flat out lying. It’s absolutely the KEY piece of the puzzle in the reform process. Why? Because health insurance only works by creating large pools of people to spread risk around and share costs. The bigger the pool, the lower the premiums, because the risk is spread across many people paying in to the system. It is very hard for new insurance companies to get into the health insurance business, because they can’t get enough people together to form a large enough pool to make a profit. Thus, though there is a “free market” the tendency is toward mergers and monopolies, not conducive to the kind of competition that really governs a free market. Via Talking Points Memo I learned of a report
released by Health Care for America Now (HCAN), [which] uses data compiled by the American Medical Association to show that 94 percent of the country’s insurance markets are defined as “highly concentrated,” according to Justice Department guidelines. Predictably, that’s led to skyrocketing costs for patients, and monster profits for the big health insurers. Premiums have gone up over the past six years by more than 87 percent, on average, while profits at ten of the largest publicly traded health insurance companies rose 428 percent from 2000 to 2007.
In other words, people who claim to be concerned about public-private competition will drive private insurers out of business should know that in most places, there’s no such thing as health insurance competition, and competition is necessary to keep costs and premiums down. If you have private insurance now, you can keep it! But the mere existence of the public plan may help drive YOUR costs down. The only entity big enough to create a pool large enough to inject real competition into the health are industry is the government, period.
Also, the government plan would have to adhere to stricter rules, helping to ensure coverage for people with pre-existing conditions, and to prevent people with serious illnesses from being kicked off their coverage due to costs. In order to compete, private insurers would also have to adopt these standards, which would truly be a victory for everyone.
Finally, the government plan would be large enough to enact real changes in terms of compensation structures to health care providers, helping to encourage preventative care to keep everyone healthier, and to ddrive down costs. Hopefully doctors and groups like the AMA which represent them will grab a seat at the table to help make sure these changes are equitable and in patients’ and providers’ best interests.
So. I finally wrote a health care post. It’s by no means comprehensive, and I am by no means an expert. I’m just the daughter of an ER doc an APN and an RN, and I’m married to a pediatrician. I’m someone with a healthy interest in health care and a lot of time to read and get informed. I urge you to read and get informed too, and to get involved in the process.
Image via Flickr user Hermes, under a Creative Commons license.
If you are a human, and you have say, eyes, and have encountered either internet, television, magazines, or advertising in any form, you know that society seems to have certain ideas of what is and isn’t beautiful, what is and isn’t feminine. And for a long time, this has been basically a very narrow concept that (at least as I’ve assimilated it in my little mind) involves whiteness, fairness of hair and eyes, thinness, but with a certain amount of curve in the breasts and hips, and a certain sort of go-along-to-get-along-ness that doesn’t ever make anyone uncomfortable or threatened or challenged. I could get all feministy and theory-ish on ya, but seriously, I’m sure you know what I’m talking about.
And I totally get that there is a natural desire on the part of anyone who falls outside these narrow strictures to push back, to challenge that, to say, that’s not what a beautiful woman is, THIS is. But, it seems to me, more often than not, those attempts to break out of the narrow bounds of societally accepted femininity end up creating just another narrow definition. Now, I’ve been in enough internet arguments on feminist and feminist-leaning websites and even just websites for women to know that most of the time, people don’t really mean what they say so narrowly. And yet statements like “Real Women Have Curves” make me incredibly sad. Of course, “Some Real Women Have Curves” doesn’t have the same ring to it, doesn’t fit on a bumper sticker or a tee shirt quite so nicely, and yet, isn’t that what most of us REALLY mean when we say stuff like that? Not to mention, if you look at those Dove models, it’s still obvious that there is an upper limit to what they’re going to put in the ads. Beth Ditto wasn’t chosen to sell us our thigh-firming cream. You might not think Beth is pretty (many people do!), but she’s still a REAL woman, just the same.
What set me off TODAY was seeing this on Meghan McCain’s Twitter feed:
Isn’t the idea that a “real ass” is “big and juicy” just as reductive as the societal idea that an acceptable ass is the opposite?
I understand that many who know me, who know what I look like, might read a post like this and say THIN PRIVILEGE! And it’s true, my body as it naturally is generally fits into the societal standards of “acceptability.” I know I come from a place of privilege in that regard. I know that I do not know what it is like to be looked at and judged in the same way someone who struggles with weight or other physical issues does. Though I would say that I do know what it is like to not love myself, to hate my own body, to cry because of hurtful things that others say about it, I do not see the world the same way as Meghan McCain, who has been unfairly snarked on by people as high-profile as pundit Laura Ingraham for her weight and appearance, an appearance I think is perfectly lovely.
And yet, really, aren’t we all in this fight together? Don’t these narrow standards hurt all of us? And when we push back against them and try to overcome them and get rid of them, can’t we do that in a way that doesn’t leave just another group out?
The idea that female bodies are objects for public consumption and judgment is really the problem. Meghan McCain shouldn’t have to defend her “big and juicy” ass to anyone any more than I should be subject to cat calls while standing at bus stops. The real slogan should be WHAT MAKES A REAL WOMAN IS NOT FOR YOU TO SAY.
Ladybug, ladybug, fly away home; your house is on fire and your children are gone!
Last week my husband and I flew away home to Colorado because his grandfather passed away. On our first day there, we decided to take a drive to the mountains; my husband thought it would be a fitting tribute to his grandfather who loved to drive in the mountains, though he assured me that our drive would be less terrifying than a typical drive with Grandpa, who enjoyed driving quite fast on mountain roads. We had initially planned to drive up to Mount Evans, only to get there and realize it was closed Tuesdays, Wednesdays, and Thursdays in July for road work. So we turned around and headed back to Denver.
On the highway back to Denver is a sign that says “Buffalo Herd Overlook.” Naturally, this lil Bufflo wanted to see some buffalos. So we got off at the exit and drove around looking for a spot to spy some bison. This really meant driving all over Genesee Mountain, as the signs for the overlook were somewhat less than clear. We’d drive up the mountain a while, and then get out and look around and try to see some big brown, wooly beasts, then strike out, get back in the car, drive some more, and repeat.
Finally, we got to the top of the mountain, and we still hadn’t seen any buffalo. We decided to get out of the car anyway, and headed toward a flag planted on the very top of the mountain. As we reached it, we noticed that the air was buzzing with small insects. “Wow, this place has lots of ladybugs!” I said to Jon. A man wearing overalls and standing on a rock nearby said we should walk over to a nearby tree if we REALLY wanted to see them. We headed toward the tree, and slowly, what looked like orange bark turned out to be crawling. Crawling with hundreds of tiny ladybugs. They were swarming on every surface imaginable. Another old man, who seemed about a million years old and was hobbling around the mountain with a walking stick, told us that he’s seen this phenomenon a few times before. He acted like we weren’t seeing the craziest thing ever.
But seriously folks, millions and millions of LADYBUGS! IT WAS THE CRAZIEST THING EVER! We sat for a while and watched them swarm and crawl over rocks and trees and grass. Eventually I think they began to accept us as part of the scenery, because they slowly started to land on us! That’s pretty much when what had been the “cutest infestation ever” began to seem creepy. I imagined my entire body covered in ladybugs. I had visions of that scene from “The Mummy” where the scarabs swarm out of the mummy’s mouth, only with ladybugs flying out of MY mouth. My skin began to crawl. So with that, we snapped a few pictures and headed out.
The next day, we picked Jon’s sister and her husband and daughter up from the airport after they arrived home from a vacation in Chicago, and we told them about the ladybugs. “Crazy!” his sister said, “We actually saw that on the national news when we were in Chicago!” Sure enough:
And it gets even crazier! In preparation for Grandpa’s funeral, we all pulled out old family albums and were flipping through them. And in an album from 1987, we found photos Grandma and Grandpa had taken of the exact same type of ladybug swarm on the exact same location: Genesee Mountain. So, if you’re curious about seeing millions of ladybugs, and you’re wondering where to go (the hermits in the news reports seem not to want other people to come see them), Genesee Mountain is a public place, and you should go check them out!
And if you’re curious about the nursery rhyme at the beginning of this post, here’s the scoop: “Farmers knew of the Ladybird’s value in reducing the level of pests in their crops and it was traditional for them to cry out the rhyme before they burnt their fields following harvests ( this reduced the level of insects and pests) in deference to the helpful ladybird.”
UPDATE: found a source as to the “why” of the ladybug swarm.
The insects are out in force in the Front Range region of Colorado thanks to increased rainfall during spring and early summer. The additional moisture has made their food supply plentiful so their numbers have increased by 15 to 20 percent.