scenes from a rock show

I don’t go to a lot of concerts.  I dislike other bodies touching mine, I hate it when people mosh into me, I hate having to wait through an inevitably crappy opening act, I usually get hot and feel faint, and I find the standing rather exhausting. (Yes, I realize I sound like a real pale and wan pain in the ass right about now.)  But, and I realize this will spoil some of my indie cred, one of my favorite bands in the whole wide world is Third Eye Blind and they played in my town last night and I just had to go.  Even though it was in a venue (the Music Farm) I swore I’d never go back to because it was way oversold the time I saw Band of Horses (oh hey, there’s my cred back) and actually had to leave before the end because I thought I’d pass out from the heat and the stench of the sweat coming off the horde of shirtless goth dudes dryhumping all around me (no lie).  I’ve liked 3eb since their first album came out way back in like 1996, discovering them just as I realized there was newer music beyond my dad’s classic rock (though I still have a soft spot for that stuff).  I have all of their albums and even an EP, and it’s all still in rotation on my iPod.  So yeah, I had to go.

So my husband and I took our old fogey asses to a rock show last night.  And I loved it.  Here are some brief scenes.

• We arrived before the opening act to score some prime real estate on the floor in front of the stage.  This meant 30 minutes of exposure to annoying undergrads (I can ID them because they didn’t have over-21 bracelets on) going on about how they’ve loved 3eb since their first album came out.  Oh really? Back when you were like, eight?
• We inevitably stand next to the one person at the show that you don’t want to be standing next to.  With Band of Horses it was a group of shirtless goths who seemed to have gotten lost on the way to the gay club next door and took the opportunity of an indie rock show to dry hump each other for an hour.  This show, it was the Hippie Girl.  The type who says things like, “I just want to express myself with my body” and writhes around to some other beat in her mind, swaying and slithering.  Jon said, “I think she thought this was Widespread Panic or something.”  We spent the show trying not to let her dance ON us.  I should have asked her if she wanted to model for art classes.  I’m sure she’d have been down.
• The opening act. Oh God.  Someone did not love Joshua James enough as a child.  His music is apparently the soundtrack to wrist slitting.  He literally said, “This song is about a little boy from Lincoln, Nebraska, who was kidnapped from his home and later found raped and murdered.”  As you can imagine, it was a really happy track.  We couldn’t understand a word he said, but I imagined they were about puppies being kicked and women being eaten by bears.  I will say that later, he came out to sing a 3eb song, and it sounded pretty good, if angsty.  So the guy has a decent voice, but might need to find some different inspiration for his songwriting.
• But then, after a seemingly interminable setup and sound check, the main event arrived on the stage, and the sold out house went nuts.  The band rocked out, the crowd went crazy dancing and singing (parts of the show were basically a big sing-along), and by the end of the 4-song encore, my ears were ringing and my throat was sore.
• Based on my observations of crowd behavior, I’ve now trademarked The Dick Move ™.  It’s that “oh, I see my buddy over there, can I squeeze through here?” thing people do to get closer to the stage.  Two guys and a girl pulled that on me and then stopped, right in front of me.  “We good?” the guy said to his girl.  I decided this situation called for me to be a bitch.  “UM NO, WE’RE NOT. I could see, and now I can’t.” The girl moved sheepishly to the side, and I thought to myself, damn straight, you better move, that was NOT cool.
• I’ve also gotta hand it to 3eb, they’re not one of those bands that now hates and refuses to play the song that made them famous. We got to hear both “Semi Charmed Kind of Life” and “Jumper,” and they played both with the same enthusiasm that they gave to songs off their newest album.  They also seem to know they’re not as famous as they used to be, and seemed genuinely thankful that we were such an awesome crowd, which is probably why they gave us a 4-song encore.

So, I’m a happy fan today.  Not sure when I’ll feel up to another show, but I’m glad I went to this one.