This is definitely what unbridled joy looks like. Some might call that #winning.
I’m a competitive person. A good illustration is: I am REALLY fast at typing. And the reason is, way back when in keyboarding class, I sat next to a friend who was a pretty good typist. And I was determined to beat her speed, every single day. Whatever her WPM was, mine HAD to be higher. It just had to. I never told her this, but we were absolutely racing every single day.
I think, subconsciously, this mindset persists today. Everything is competitive. Women’s bodies. Our mothering. How much we’ve achieved by the time we hit 30 (oh hey, that milestone is looming for me in December). Blogging. Followers, likes, whatever. So often, I find myself in this mindset that there’s only one winner. That there’s only so much success, popularity, love, beauty, joy in this world, and someone else getting a lot of it somehow means less left over for me.
Of course I know it’s a lie from the pit of hell, but that doesn’t keep me from often living as if it’s true.
Recently, I read a piece on Serious Eats that seriously resonated with me– it promised to change my life, WITH PASTA. Pasta is basically my favorite food after cheese, so if there’s a way to change my life by eating more of it, I’m interested. In the piece, writer Sarah Grey talks in almost spiritual terms about what seems to be a sort of secular sabbath: the community created around what has become a weekly tradition of an open dinner party that centers around meatballs. Simple idea, simple meal, huge impact. Continue reading
When my sister and I were kids, our parents didn’t allow us to call other people “stupid.” So we did what any smart kids would do: we created a code word that worked just as well. Our code word? “Sebastian.” Ariel’s very own personal crustacean buzzkill was a natural choice for a couple of kids whose first movie in the theater was The Little Mermaid. “You’re so Sebastian,” we would say to each other, and the recipient would TOTALLY know exactly what we meant. It became something of a family joke, and to this day, my Papa, particularly when he is performing a monologue on behalf of the dog in his special dog-voice, will use the word “Sebastian” to call someone a nitwit.
This is why I was surprised when I saw that the name “Sebastian” has now arrived on the top 50 list of boys’ names. Guess all those people just don’t know they’re basically naming their kids “Stupid.”
*Note: if you named your kid Sebastian, I am sure that he is not, in fact, stupid. It’s a great name. But it will always first and foremost make me think “Stupid.” And then it will remind me of “The Neverending Story.” And then I’ll want to put a necklace on my head and pretend to be The Childlike Empress. And THEN it will make me think of twee rockers Belle and Sebastian. The end.
PS: Have you “liked” my new Facebook Page yet?
See that stunningly gorgeous, extremely sticky kid right there? She’s wearing a stained tank top and no pants with skinny legs stuck into new red high top sneakers her daddy picked out for her. I sliced her up a delicious peach as part of her lunch. And you know what that magnificent child did? She shared it with me. She brought over two pieces at a time, running in those little high tops from her tiny table to my spot on the couch, handing me one piece, and devouring the other with a smile. Her eyes lit up every time I said, “Thank you, baby!” She grinned every time I said “mmmmm.” When we finished our slices, she ran back on crazy legs to bring more.
This kid is 2 years old and she knows the secret to life: the best things are only the best if they’re shared. I’m so glad I get to share all my best things with my Best Things.
She shared with her baby doll, too.
This girl knows how to stay positive.
Most days, as I drive her to preschool, I hear Claire’s sweet little voice giving herself a pep talk in the back seat. It goes something like this:
“Claire Bear be OK. Mommy come right back. Daddy come right back. Etta come right back. Claire Bear be OK. Claire Bear see friends. Claire Bear see Miss Freddie. Claire Bear eat snacks. Claire Bear go outside. Mommy come right back. Claire Bear go outside. Mommy come right back. Mommy always come right back.”
By the time we get to school, she’s psyched up like a player for the big game. She waves bye bye to her sister and me. She walks happily into her classroom, where she will see her friends and beloved teachers, eat snacks, play with toys, sing songs, read books, work hard with her therapists, and then, at the end of the day, where her mommy will come right back to her. Continue reading
Dear couple staring in disbelief at an ultrasound image of TWO babies,
Hi. You might be feeling a lot of feelings right now, and those feelings may be giving you other feelings too. Like, maybe you’re a little bummed out and the difference between how you feel and how excited everyone else seems to be about this twins thing might be making you feel a little guilty on top of the whole feeling bummed thing. I know.
If you’re visiting erniebufflo.com today, you might notice that things look a bit different! I think this is maybe only the third time I’ve ever changed up the look of my blog, and it’s always a little scary! I hope you like it. You may also notice over to the right, above my face, are easy links to my social media profiles. I even finally caved and created a Facebook page for this site, so if you’d like to follow there, you can give me a “like.”
I remain so grateful for this blog, which has brought so much community into my life. Thank you so much for reading, for commenting, for connecting.